Have you listened to the way that children respond to their parents and other adults lately? Their responses are often very “lippy” [often termed a “fresh mouth”], disrespectful, argumentative, often condescending – as if they believe they are communicating with one of their friends. But let’s be clear here; this is not an overnight phenomenon.
Over the last twenty years we have witnessed a setting aside of discipline, manners, respect for adults and those in authority to embrace allowing our children to “experiment” and “find out who they are”, through any type of language [whether it is disrespectful, harmful, or not], and without any responsibility or repercussions for said statements and/or attitudes. To make matters worse, many parents have chosen to abdicate “parenting” to become “friends” with their children. Should we now be surprised that children communicate with their parents and other adults any differently than the way they do with their friends?
Throughout the Bible, God’s Word commands that children are to “honor their parents.” And God also promised that when children are obedient in keeping this commandment there would be a special blessing afforded them. Notice the following verses.
Exodus 20:12,
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”
Ephesians 6:1-3,
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”
Colossians 3:20,
“Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”
God’s Word commands parents to teach their children in the ways of God.
Proverbs 22:6 states,
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
[Also see Deuteronomy 6:1-9]. The emphasis here is the “parental training of the child”. Parents have a God-given responsibility to train their children to know the Lord and the ways of the Lord. This necessarily requires that the parents themselves “know the Lord”; meaning that the words “God”, “Lord”, and “Jesus” are not just abstract words having no intrinsic value in their lives; but when spoken provide evidence of an endearing intimate and familiar relationship with the one in whom they are speaking – [because] their relationship with the Lord is enveloped and accustomed by frequent converse; well acquainted with; intimate; close; as a familiar friend or companion. And yes, this requires the parents to “know the Lord” through God’s saving grace; having received Christ as their Savior through faith and repentance.
God’s Word also teaches that if a child – through a stubborn will – chooses to disregard sound Biblical teaching they must be held accountable and are subject to correction. And yes, at times it may require corporal chastisement. Take note.
Proverbs 22:15,
“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
Proverbs 23:13-14,
“Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”
Parents who refuse to correct their children do not show love to their children.
Parents must understand that if they fail to teach their children the commandments of God’s Word they deny their children the benefits of God’s promises. Our children [need] their parents to be “parents” and not their “friends”. (Note: A parent will become a “friend” to their child when the child reaches adulthood and leaves home.) Children need guidance from their parents – to lead them to the Lord – and then to lead them in the paths of the Lord. May we as parents choose to be “parents” and to lead our children by example – lest we be found guilty of teaching them to be “disobedient children”.
